written by
José St.Clair

The MEGA Guide to Improving & Building Your Self Esteem!

Improve Your Life 8 min read
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The MEGA Guide to Improving & Building Your Self Esteem!

So how do you stay calm, composed, and maintain self-esteem in a challenging environment? Here are some tips you may consider as a starter guide to self-improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self-esteem and pull you down in ways you wonít even remember. Don't let them beat you or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

#1: Negative Work Environment

Beware of the 'dog eat dog' theory where everyone else is fighting to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner and stay up late. Most of the time, you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this. It will ruin your self-esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition, that is.

#2: Other People's Behavior

Ignore bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers and patronizers. All these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self-esteem, as well as to your self-improvement scheme.

#3: Changing Environment

You can't be a green bug on a brownfield. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for a while, it may cause stress, but it will help us find ways to improve ourselves. The change will be there forever. We must be susceptible to it.

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#4: Past Experience

It's okay to cry and say ouch! When we experience pain. But don't let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

#5: Negative World View

Look at what you're looking at. Don't wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self-esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of the worst situations.

#6: Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioural traits are a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), upbringing, and environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy, or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn't mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people's experiences, so you'll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive and staying positive is a choice. Building self-esteem and drawing lines for self-improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent.

Staying tough

In life, it's hard to stay tough, especially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battlefield, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armours to use and pick bulletproof ones. Life's options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing bulletproof armour ideally means self-change. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armour or Self Change - changes three things: our attitude, behaviour, and way of thinking.

Building self-esteem will eventually lead to self-improvement if we become responsible for who we are, what we have, and what we do. It's like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self-esteem, we take control of our mission, values, and discipline. Self-esteem brings about self-improvement, authentic assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self-esteem? Be positive, contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self-esteem, along with your starter guide to self-improvement.

Photographer: Ahmed Zayan | Source: Unsplash

Now Let's Level Up by Learning How to Become an Ideal Leader

When you are at work, do you get frustrated because things don't seem to be happening the way theyíre supposed to be? You see people milling around, but nothing gets accomplished. And in the daily hustle and bustle, do you feel that your goals remain just that ñ goals. Then maybe it's time for you to stand up and do something about it.

Most people are content to stand around listening for orders. And it isn't unusual to adopt a follow-the-leader mentality. But maybe, somewhere inside of you, you feel the desire to make things happen ñ to be the head, not the tail. Then perhaps leadership suits you fine.

Some people believe that great leaders are made, not born. Yes, it may be true that some people are born with natural talents. However, without practice, drive, enthusiasm, and experience, there can be no actual development in leadership. You must also remember that good leaders are continually working and studying to improve their natural skills. This takes a commitment to constantly improving in whatever endeavour a person chooses.

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What is leadership?

First of all, let's define leadership. To be a leader, one must influence others to accomplish a goal or an objective. They contribute to the organization and cohesion of a group. Contrary to what most people believe, leadership is not about power. It is not about harassing people or driving them using fear. It's about encouraging others towards the goal of the organization. It is putting everyone on the same page and helping them see the big picture of the organization. You must be a leader, not a boss.

First of all, you have to get people to follow you. How is this accomplished?

People follow others when they see a clear sense of purpose. People will only follow you if they see that you know where you are going. Remember that bumper sticker? The one that says don't follow me, I'm lost too? The same holds for leadership. If you do not know where you're headed, chances are people will not follow you at all.

You must know the vision of the organization. Having a clear sense of hierarchy, knowing who the bosses are, who to talk to, the organization's goals and objectives, and how the organization works are the only way to show others you know what you are doing. Being a leader is not about what you make others do. It's about who you are, what you know, and what you do. You are a reflection of what you're subordinates must be.

Another basis of leadership

Studies have shown that one other basis of good leadership is the trust and confidence your subordinates have in you. If they trust you, they will go through hell and high water for you and the organization.

Trust and confidence is built on good relationships, trustworthiness, and high ethics.

The way you deal with your people and the relationships you build will lay the foundation for the strength of your group. The stronger your relationship, the stronger their trust and confidence are in your capabilities. Once you have their trust and confidence, you may now communicate the goals and objectives you are to undertake. Communication is an essential key to good leadership. Without this, you can not be a good leader. The knowledge and technical expertise you have must be imparted to other people.

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Being a good leader takes time

Also, you can not be a good leader and unless you have good judgment. You must assess situations, weigh the pros and cons of any decision, and actively seek solutions. It is this judgment that your subordinates will come to rely upon. Therefore, good decision-making is vital to the success of your organization.

Leaders are not do-it-all heroes. You should not claim to know everything, and you should not rely upon your skills alone. You should recognize and take advantage of the skills and talents your subordinates have. Only when you come to this realization will you be able to work as one cohesive unit.

Remember being a leader takes a good deal of work and time. It is not learned overnight. Remember, also, that it is not about just you. It is about you and the people around you.

So, do you have the drive and the desire to serve required of leaders? Do you have the desire to work cooperatively with other people? Then start now. Take your stand and be a leader today.

Thanks for reading this article:

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