Introverts constantly get articles written for them/about them. Articles telling them ‘How to be confident.’ or advising on ‘How to fit in at a party.’ to help them fit in. On the flip side, there are confident extroverts who can go out and love a party. Yet, they’ve never had an article written for/about them and how they could enable the introverts to socialise more.
Which I’ve always thought was unfair. To even out the sides, today I’m giving the extroverts some advice on ways they can help their introverted friends.
Why are people introverts?
Before I can give you some tips on how to be a better extrovert, I might as well divulge why some people grow to be introverted instead.
- Naturally like that
- Inaccessible buildings mean you can’t go out with people as easily
- Find it difficult to open up due to trauma and other problems
There are many reasons why people are introverted, and it isn’t just by being awkward, so that’s why extroverts need to change for introverts sometimes.
Give us time
When in a social situation that requires our opinions, don't ignore us or let someone speak over us because you think we're uninterested. Most of the time, introverts are (they'd say so otherwise.) Give them time to form their words and work out how we're going to tell it!
Plus, sometimes introverted-ness can be caused by uncomfortably in the people around us or our building. It can be caused by anxiety. What can lower that anxiety is by giving us information on the location or just some of the people who may be there to research the route and the building so we can be calm and more able to socialise.
Time to form a bond
Unlike most extroverts who can create a friendly out of seemingly thin air. (How they do that, I'll never know.) On the flip side, you've got the introverts for which tight bonds can take a bit longer to develop. This could be for many reasons but don't give up on them after the first conversation and give it time. And once you get to know us, we can have a great friendship with loyalty or humour, or you'll find out the introvert you've befriended is annoying. You can't always be sure what way a friendship will go, but that's with any relationship out there, and you shouldn't let that stop you from trying to befriend/help your neighbourhood introvert.
As the name suggests, introverts don't always like a party. So when that's the only activity they get invited to, it gets a bit annoying and wears you down- hence why you won't always see us getting excited at the chance to boogie on the dancefloor.
So offer us other places we could meet up either as a group or as two mates. There are tons of things you can do instead of partying and clubbing.
Such as going bowling, which provides a good game/competition everyone can get behind.
Or go out for lunch somewhere or you could go to the theatre somewhere.
They are still just as fun as clubbing. Plus, because we are not focused on dancing and drinking, we could focus on conversation and building that bond. Making the relationship grow stronger will reduce the amount of time it'll take for a bond to form.
Sometimes better options are needed, that's all!
Alone time is fun
Extroverts run on social interaction. It’s like their bread and butter! For introverts, constant social interaction is a nightmare. Don’t get me wrong, for the most part, it can be enjoyable, especially if it’s with someone they care about and genuinely like if it’s somewhere new, with new people or with someone they don’t like. It’s daunting. However, no matter what type of situation, social interaction and talking with others can drain you.
To recover from this drain, introverts usually enjoy being alone and doing their own thing to help them rechange and get the most fulfilment in being alone. Many people don’t get that, and it is okay. But don’t force us out and get us talking to people all the time and let us be alone when needed.
See us struggling? A little help.
Sometimes your friend that struggles to socialise does their best to raise their own game and does try to talk to others, and many factors add it to the list of unsuccessful social encounters. If you see us falter, give us a tiny amount of help getting back on track, either by interrupting the conversation or helping change the subject.
Please! Let introverts write.
Listen, introverts don’t like phone calls. We want written communication like emails and text (just like the zoomers!), so please, when you can, don’t ring! Text.
Extroverts, I hope this guide has helped you figure out ways to help your introverted friends and hopefully, it’ll make your friendship stronger!
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