Anger is an overwhelming emotion to handle. It can increase adrenaline and make you want to punch things like a wall, for example. It can be that difficult to take; if you can’t manage it properly.
Today I’m providing some tips to help make the feeling less difficult to control and stop it making you punch a wall in disgust.
Types of anger
First of all, we must understand that there are three types of anger:
Assertive- This is the most healthy way to express your anger. It’s the type of anger where your ability to talk about it openly and with confidence. Usually, you’ll be able to see the other side and, if needed for whatever is making you angry, forgive the other side.
Passive- This type of anger is when you say you are not angry or annoyed but show you are mad through irritating remarks, one-liners, and cheap shots.
Open- Open anger is one of the more harmful ones. It’s the type of anger where you’ll lash out. Where you’ll hurt others and physically or verbally hurt others’. It comes out in fighting and blackmailing (among others) and is the one that needs to be managed.
Ways to manage it
As we can see, Open anger is the type of anger that we need to try and calm down. Admittedly that can be difficult, but there are some steps we can use to try and make it easier.
Usually, lists that tell you to manage your anger ask you to think before you speak. However, that’s very hard to do until you calm down, and so it would be better to have something else before that step. I recommend a breathing exercise. Breathe in and out and count to ten and try to calm down that way. Yes, this is similar to a way to control anxiety, but it has multiple uses. Once this has hopefully calmed you down, you can try the next step.
Think before you speak
When you’re angry, you can easily say things you don’t mean or insults you want to keep quiet. So the best thing to do is try to think before you speak! Admittedly this can be not easy if you cannot calm yourself down, and you might need to try another exercise. However, you should always try to see reason and think about what you are saying.
In your free time, take up exercise. Whether that’s weight lifting with bags of sugar or going to the gym, or jogging, try it. Exercise is known to help with relieving stress and increasing serotonin. This will help decrease some of the symptoms that cause anger. It can also help with problem-solving and help you with your ability to control your anger. It’s one of the more physical things you can do on the list, which may be easier for some than breathing exercises that don’t feel as proactive.
Now I’m not saying use humour to deflect from the situation. Not at all. We should always reflect on our behaviour and change.
However, if angry or in a problem that has caused anger, use humour to make the situation less awkward and diffuse some tension in the room. It can also enable you to reflect without getting too defensive and uptight and allows you to work on it more.
And always remember to talk about your feelings and resolve the situation as truthfully as possible.
One of the best things to do when you feel anger overwhelm you is to walk away from the situation. I don’t mean go to your room and not talk for a week to anyone. I mean, leave the room for ten minutes to an hour till you’ve calmed down. Give yourself an escape so you can calm down and focus on something else. It’ll enable you to look at the situation more clearly. It is like a timeout. Which we always use on children to calm them down. Why can’t grown up’s do the same?
Recognising the signs of anger
Another thing you can do is try to spot the signs that your anger will lead to an angry outburst. It could come out in a multitude of ways. Signs of irritation could be anything from sweating palms, hurting head and a faster heartbeat. When you recognise these signs, you can walk away from the situation.
You can use a tracker or jot down your feelings to notice patterns, making this step easier.
As you can see, there are plenty of ways to manage anger. And are easy to use in your everyday routine. But even with our tips, it can still be a difficult task. Never be afraid of asking for help to control anger, especially when you show it to others in dangerous ways.
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